Confused

I don’t know what to think about the fact that you porch-dropped cream for my coffee this morning without me asking you to.

I feel delight, because I was making due with milk but coffee is always so much better with cream.

I feel discouraged, because how will I ever know if you do nice things for me to manipulate me or to truly be kind?

I feel grateful, because I appreciate it, no matter the motive.

I feel angry, because your decades of behavior have sabotaged yourself and I hate that I can no longer assume you are kind to me because you love me.

I feel hurt, because gifts of cream for coffee only mean so much, and all I really want is to trust you love me, will be faithful to me, and will tell me the truth.